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how to connect with loves ones after they have died

How to connect with loved ones when they have died

What if death is not the end? What if you could continue your relationship with your loved one even though they have died? In this blog you can find out how.

One of the most painful aspects of bereavement is the all-encompassing sense of loss that you will never see or share your life with your loved one again, that they have gone forever. Yet in so many cultures and belief systems around the world death is not considered the end, instead it is seen as a transition from one state of being to another.

I believe this to be true and in my last blog I wrote about the most common ways your loved one, in the world of spirit, reach out to communicate with you. From feeling their presence nearby to strange occurrences, signs and symbols so many of you wrote to me to tell me that you had experienced such a thing. Why then should that communication, experienced by so many, be one way?

If your loved ones can make contact with you why then can’t you reach out to them? Many of you asked about this, so I thought I would write this blog.

Communicating with your loved ones in spirit is a lot easier than you might imagine. As is so often the case your mind is your greatest obstacle when it comes to new ideas and concepts so suspend your doubt and be willing to open the door of possibility to explore the five ideas below. Find out how you can  tap into your natural, intuitive and innate spiritual senses so that you can connect with your loved ones who have passed over:


1. Ask

That old saying, “ if  you don’t ask you don’t get” is very true especially when it comes to the universe and the universal law of free will and choice. When we ask the universe for something we set an intention and you know what – the universe listens. So if you want to connect with your loved ones in heaven then ask them to draw close, ask them to dialogue and connect with you. I like to imagine my request beaming up to heaven as a golden and loving wavelength of energy. It is not foot stamping and demanding but an unconditional, loving request that has no attachments or expectations. I say words like this, “I open my heart to you and ask that you draw close to me…” and then I leave the space open for the connection to take place. Ask your loved ones to walk through the day with you, to visit your dreams, to show you signs, to draw close to you and then leave it to them to respond how they chose when the moment is right.


2. Talk to them like you usually would

Chat with your loved ones and send them your prayers as you go about your day. Imagine that your loved ones in spirit are able to hear you on a telepathic, mobile phone signal. The more you get into the habit of opening up the pathways of communication the easier it is for the energy of connection between the two realms to flow.


3. Write

Journaling and letter writing is a beautiful way of communicating with those who have passed over. Through pen and paper you can share your thoughts and feelings, ask questions and dialogue about life. Writing is a very cathartic process in itself but when you add in the fact you are writing to someone who has passed over you are also opening up channels of connection and communion. It’s no different than staying in touch with a friend who has moved abroad.

Over time this process can evolve. I discovered that as I wrote to my father I could hear his voice in my mind talking back to me and in the end I was able to pour his words onto the paper. This is called, automatic writing or psychography.


4. Create the space to be still and connect

Spiritual connection with yourself and with the universe is very difficult when your mind is frantic and preoccupied! You can only tune in to your own spiritual resources and hear, feel and sense spirit when your are calm. This means that for most of us setting time aside for quiet time is essential; whilst this might seem like a big ask bear in mind that stress is one of the biggest killers in the modern world, all of us could do with making the time to sit and be still. Setting aside a regular time slot to sit is really important – if you can build it into your routine it is more likely to stick. Choose where your ‘sit spot’ will be, you can pick the garden or the natural world or it can be in your home. In your home you might like to create a dedicated space with candles, incense, plants, a statue or spiritual image that is symbolic to you. You can also include special cushions, a throw and photos of your loved ones in heaven and on earth, this all helps set the energy and intention for your special time to be at peace. Sit in a comfy position, turning off all distractions. Close your eyes and mouth and use your breath to still and centre the body. If it feels right you can ask the universe to join you and to protect you, you can ask this in your mind and imagine the universe responding by pouring golden light down from heaven enveloping you in loving, protective energy. Just allow yourself to be present, notice what arises with loving awareness, if you realise your thinking just return to your breath, do this over and over again. You might like to listen to a free breath meditation or guided visualisation – I like the ones on Insight Timer. Dedicate five minutes to start with and build up.

When I first began doing this my mind was literally non stop, there wasn’t a minute in between a thought popping into my brain. However I was shocked at how quickly I was able to train my mind. Within six weeks I went from almost constant intrusive thoughts to being able to sit for half an hour, I even began to see colours and images in my minds eye – it really is just practice! When you are ready to end your quiet time thank the universe for its protection, imagine the golden light withdrawing and come back into the room. This practice is life changing, epigenetic research is now revealing that not only can meditation reverse ageing, there are also genetic changes within your body. Doing this is also the most powerful way to develop your sensitivity and spiritual gifts which in turn is the most powerful way to sense, feel and connect with your loved ones who have passed over.


5. A beautiful meditation in which you sit with your loved one.

This is one of my favourite meditations and I have done this not only in my own practice for years but with all my children. And if they can do it so can you! Sit down where you won’t be disturbed, phones and devices switched off. Get comfy. Close your eyes and mouth, breathing slow, rhythmic breaths through your mouth until you feel the peace descend.


When you are ready imagine that you are standing on a path by the side of a field on a warm, sun filled Summer’s day. In front of you is a wooden gate that you are going to walk through. In your mind’s eye imagine pushing the gate open, notice how the wood feels beneath your hands, the movement of its arch as it swings open and as you close it behind you hear the clunk of the metal catch. The field slopes gently upwards and at the top of it you can see an ancient oak tree. As you walk slowly up the field notice the flowers and the grasses, breathe in the smell of Summer scents, feel the breeze and the warmth of the sun on your face. Imagine the scene in as much details as possible using all your senses. Watch butterflies as they spiral, hear the birds twitter, observe the small white clouds dance across the sky. Bring the walk alive with as much detail as you can imagine.


As you draw closer to the tree you can see a wooden bench underneath the canopy of the Oak tree’s leaves. Take a seat on the bench and look out over the horizon to the land and the sky beyond – take in the sense of vastness and the beauty of the landscape. Invite your loved one in spirit to come and join you, be open to whatever unfolds. Maybe you will see them clearly and they will join you on the bench where you can chat or sit in companionable silence, but perhaps you both need to get used to meeting in this way and you just get a sense or feeling of their presence. Maybe you just see a magic symbol of a white feather spiralling down or an animal totem that you associate with them. There are no rules, you can return and both you and your loved one can keep practice and learn how to connect in this way.


You don’t need to stay on the bench if you prefer to walk. When the time comes that you wish to leave retrace your steps back down the field opening and closing the gate in the same way as you entered. You can do this guided meditation as often as you choose, over time you will find that things spontaneously change, a new path opens up, animals enter, the tree grows a tree house and a step ladder. It is a vehicle for you imagination, spiritual connection and gifts to grow as well as a beautiful way to connect with spirit.


So there you have it – five of my favourite ways to teach people how to connect and communicate with their loved ones in heaven. Remember these are all just starting points and there are no rights and wrongs. Try to leave doubt out of the equation too – magic and mystery are often lost when the mind wants to rationalise everything.

The ideas here are all ways to open up a bridge between heaven and earth to keep the channels of communication open. For this reason they are not exhaustive. Bear in mind as well that anything you do that enhances your sensitivity and receptivity in mind, body and spirit helps to sharpen your skills at perceiving and energetically connecting with those that have passed over.

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