If you find yourself comparing yourself to others, then you’re not alone.
The Greek philosopher’s Plato and Aristotle were reflecting on this very same topic two thousand years ago. It seems that our desire to compare ourselves with others is deeply ingrained in human nature. We can’t help but notice those around us and make judgments about this.
A dear friend who has had a truly dreadful couple of years said to me recently, “why is my life so crap and I see some people having such happy, easy lives?”
Of course, I reassured her that most of us have dreadful episodes in our lives. But she is right some do seem to have it lucky however there are plenty of others who like her have challenging lives. What’s often overlooked when we see this playing out in the lives of those around us is the spiritual evolution and karma of an individual. We are all evolving spiritually and are at different points in that journey. Some highly evolved souls deliberately choose hard and difficult lives to incarnate into. How can you compare yourself to others if you are only ever seeing a fraction of the bigger, cosmic picture? You have no idea what karma other people are working through and what they are here to learn and deal with.
Another point to remember is that we never truly know what’s going on behind the closed door of another person’s life. We have had friends who have appeared to have the happiest of marriages confess it was all a sham. We have had friends who appeared to be genuinely happy and cheerful admit mental health problems and depression. You just never know!
No one is exempt from the challenges of life and there are many difficulties that we all experience. From the death of a loved one, illness and heartbreak to the highs and lows of careers, relationships and families. We all suffer from insecurities, worry, guilt, stress and anxieties. We all have to face our youth fading and our bodies grow old. Eventually, we all have to face our own mortality. And let’s not forget parenthood. Anyone with children knows that having kids takes you to the edge of patience and sanity (even when we wouldn’t be without them!). No one’s world is perpetually happy and easy when raising kids!
There is no such thing as a perfect life – it simply doesn’t exist and if you step out of what you THINK you see and consider the main themes that run through all our lives it reframes things pretty quickly. What’s important in all of this is you! When was the last time you honoured who you are?
There is no else like you in the entire universe. You are a one-off and everything about you from your fingerprints, DNA, personality and life experiences to your karma and shining spirit makes you that way.
When you really connect with this truth and embrace this concept then comparing yourself to someone else seems rather pointless.
From a universal point of view, you are here for a purpose with gifts that only you bring this world. You have a unique role to fulfil. For most of us that means life will be challenging, you will have trials and tribulations to experience and lessons to overcome. All of which are designed to offer you the opportunity to grow and evolve spiritually.
If you can begin to see yourself, as Deepak Chopra says “a timeless being in a time-constrained body,” if you can embrace the totality of who you are then you can really begin to explore the inner realms of your spiritual essence and connect with your inherent wisdom. It is here that you will realise that your soul is not bothered by how you measure up to others or that someone else has a possession that you wish you could buy. Your soul shines because IT IS and nothing else matters.
All inadequacy, comparison and envy falls away when you sit in quiet communion and knowing with your soul. And all you need to do to start working on this connection is to be quiet and practice mindful breathing. Download an app and start to meditate if you can. Open up the door of curiosity, listen to podcasts and read books that inspire and awaken you. Do everything that inspires you to go within.
When you connect with your soul you anchor yourself into a solid, grounded, internal point of cosmic reference. It is a place of self-acceptance and inner peace where your sense of belonging with the universe can be found. It all makes social media envy rather ridiculous.
So embrace yourself with love and kindness, understand that even though you are a work in progress you are a divine expression of life. Focus your energy on your internal connection instead of judging and comparing yourself to others. And when you do look at those around you never forget that we are all children of the universe doing the very best that we can.
Fi and Gav